How to be a (Roman) man
Cicero’s ideal of manly virtue stressed the performance of self-control and bravery, not boastful egotism and domination- by Catharine EdwardsRead on Aeon.
In ancient Rome, masculinity was closely tied to power, hierarchy, and achievement, particularly in the political and military spheres. The term virtus (from vir, meaning 'man') originally referred to 'courage in war' and was central to Roman ideals of manhood. Being called 'effeminate' was a serious insult for Roman men, as femininity was associated with weakness or shame. Roman masculinity was not just about physical strength; it also involved public behavior, speech, and adherence to social norms. For example, the toga, a woolen garment worn by adult male citizens, symbolized civilian life and contrasted with military roles. Cicero, Rome’s most famous orator, embodied these ideals, using his rhetorical skills to advance his political career and defend the republic.
Roman masculinity was often linked to military success, with generals like Marius (elected consul multiple times) serving as role models. Marius, who rose from a non-aristocratic background, was praised for his battlefield prowess and rejection of 'elegance,' which was seen as feminine. However, masculinity was not confined to war. Cicero, for instance, achieved fame through his oratory skills, using persuasive speeches to save Rome from the Catiline conspiracy in 63 BCE. He compared his political victories to military triumphs, arguing that 'citizens in togas' could conquer just as effectively as soldiers. Public speaking in the Forum or Senate became a key arena for demonstrating masculinity, with orators judged on their tone, gestures, and even their toga-draping.
Roman orators faced intense scrutiny over their masculinity, with their speech styles and appearance subject to public judgment. The toga had to be draped correctly; Quintilian, a 1st-century CE expert, warned that draping it 'foppishly' was effeminate. Orators were praised for a 'manly' style and criticized for 'Asian' or overly elaborate rhetoric, which was deemed effeminate. Moderation was ideal, but even this was debated. A treatise titled To Herennius advised avoiding sharp exclamations that sounded 'ignoble' or 'feminine.' Cicero and Quintilian emphasized that true masculinity in speech reflected moral character, with Quintilian comparing polished, 'effeminate' rhetoric to castrating boys to make them more attractive—a shocking analogy to modern readers.
Cicero, Rome’s top orator, faced a crisis when he was exiled in 58 BCE after political enemies targeted him. He described his exile as a loss of 'his very self,' mourning the separation from Rome’s public life. His emotional reactions were criticized as unmanly, but he defended his grief as a form of virtus (bravery). Later, the rise of military leaders like Julius Caesar (dictator from 49–45 BCE) and Pompey eroded the Senate’s power, leaving Cicero despairing. He lamented that the republic was 'an empty husk' and compared his grief over its collapse to a mother mourning her only child. His political powerlessness deepened his personal sorrow.
Cicero’s grief over the death of his daughter Tullia in 45 BCE compounded his political despair. He wrote that Tullia had been his 'haven of refuge,' and her loss left him unable to bear the sight of the Senate, where he had once triumphed. In a letter to a friend, he compared his grief to that of a bereaved mother, calling it 'profoundly emasculating.' He felt stripped of his identity as a man, as traditional Roman masculinity was tied to public service and control. Friends like Servius Sulpicius Rufus tried to console him by suggesting Tullia’s death spared her from witnessing the republic’s fall, but Cicero rejected this comfort, seeing only his dual losses as insurmountable.
