To Become a Goddess: Kristen Millares Young on Motherhood and Marriage

The author, Kristen Millares Young, shares her personal experiences and perspectives on marriage, motherhood, and societal expectations. She describes her relationship with her husband, whom she met after already having a sexual history, and her decision to use modern birth control like a vasectomy to avoid further pregnancies. She expresses her desire to 'rule her own body' and avoid being 'worshipped' as a mother. The author also reflects on her grandmother's ('Abuela') beliefs, who prayed for her to marry and often suggested she change to keep a husband, calling these expectations a 'false prophecy.' The author's journey includes defending her choices about motherhood to family and strangers alike.

The article highlights the intense social pressure placed on women to become mothers and continue bearing children. The author notes that even after having two sons, she faces expectations to have more children, with phrases like '_one and done_' or '_two and through_' used to pressure women into further pregnancies. She describes the physical toll of this pressure, imagining dying with 'nipples sore and slack' from repeated childbirth. The author critiques the idea that women are only truly valued as mothers, asking when women are 'worshipped like goddesses' beyond their wedding day and childbearing years.

The article references Cybele, an ancient goddess known as the Great Mother Goddess, introduced to Rome in 204 BCE. Cybele was not just a deity but a sacred object—a meteorite ('burnt space rock') from Asia Minor, now Türkiye. The Romans installed her in a temple on Palatine Hill in 191 BCE, believing she held divine power. The goddess's arrival was tied to a legend involving the Sibylline Books, a collection of oracular utterances in ancient Rome, which advised bringing Cybele to Rome to defeat an enemy. The author connects Cybele's story to her own experiences, questioning whether objects gain holiness through collective worship.

The author describes her visit to Delphi, a site in Greece known for its oracle and geologic vents that emitted noxious gases. In Greek mythology, Delphi was considered the center of the universe, and its oracle delivered prophecies to those who sought guidance. The author visited Delphi in July 2013, unaware she was pregnant at the time. She reflects on the site's history, including its association with animal sacrifices and the influence of men like Julius Caesar, after whom the month of July is named. The author contrasts the ancient reverence for Delphi with modern skepticism, noting that most people now measure time from the birth of Jesus rather than Delphi's prophecies.

The article mentions Dame Mary Beard, a feminist scholar of classics, and her work on womanhood, power, and speech in antiquity. Beard's research includes studies of the Great Mother Goddess and her role in Roman culture. The author references Beard's analysis of how Cybele, a foreign deity, was integrated into Roman religion, highlighting the political and cultural significance of such incorporations. The author also draws parallels between Beard's scholarly skepticism of historical narratives and her own questioning of societal expectations placed on women as mothers.