When your child asks if they’ll be harmed like the people on the news, what do you say? Psychologists provide tips on how to talk about identity

Children often express worries about their identity indirectly, such as asking if speaking Spanish could lead to their family being taken away.

These questions may stem from overhearing news or societal messages but don’t always reference a specific event.

For example, a child might ask about a classmate’s family safety or repeat an offensive slur they heard.

The underlying concern is usually the same: What do these messages mean for people like me? Children whose identities aren’t directly targeted also absorb these messages, learning which differences are treated as normal or suspect.

Psychologists note that these questions reveal children’s attempts to make sense of confusing or hurtful information they’ve encountered, whether from media, peers, or public discourse.

The fear takes different forms depending on the child’s identity, such as language, skin color, gender, religion, or sexual orientation.